title: Warming up to a cold-sick spouse.
abstract: This paper has examined the cold-sick/love-sick pattern of a couple's interaction and presented a schema for intervening with the less accessible, but pivotal partner--usually the husband. The importance of carefully attending to the wife's needs, expectations, wishes, and frustrations has been understood. She is not to be considered an ace-in-the-hole. Acknowledging her needs, while gently urging her husband out of his protective covering will enhance a therapist's ability to enter the relationship system. The love-sick spouse need not frighten off a therapist, and if her rage is reframed as a desperate cry for help, she may be more approachable. While difficult to engage, the cold-sick partner can be reached if his discomfort is acknowledged and his defenses initially honored. With carefully plotted and sensitive attempts to form an alliance with each partner, these couples can be engaged in successful treatment.
authors.affiliation: Department of Psychiatry, Baylor College of Medicine, Houston, TX 77030.
authors.forename: R L
authors.initials: RL
authors.lastname: Beck
mesh_terms: D003858:Dependency, Psychological; D004644:Emotions; D005260:Female; D006801:Humans; D007398:Interpersonal Relations; D008149:Love; D008297:Male; D008388:Marital Therapy / Q000379:methods*; D008393:Marriage / Q000523:psychology*; D011369:Professional-Patient Relations; D012649:Self Concept