title: Self-esteem and the quest for felt security: how perceived regard regulates attachment processes.
abstract: The authors proposed that personal feelings of self-esteem foster the level of confidence in a partner's regard critical for satisfying attachments. Dating and married couples described themselves, their partners, how they thought their partners saw them, and how they wanted their partners to see them on a variety of interpersonal qualities. The results revealed that low self-esteem individuals dramatically underestimated how positively their partners saw them. Such unwarranted and unwanted insecurities were associated with less generous perceptions of partners and lower relationship well-being. The converse was true for high self-esteem individuals. A longitudinal examination of the dating couples revealed that the vulnerabilities of lows were only exacerbated over time. A dependency regulation model is proposed, wherein felt security in a partner's perceived regard is suggested as a prime mechanism linking self-esteem to relational well-being.
authors.affiliation: Psychology Department, State University of New York at Buffalo, New Yrok 14260-4110, USA. smurray@acsu.buffalo.edu
authors.forename: S L
authors.initials: SL
authors.lastname: Murray
authors.forename: J G
authors.initials: JG
authors.lastname: Holmes
authors.forename: D W
authors.initials: DW
authors.lastname: Griffin
mesh_terms: D000223:Adaptation, Psychological; D000328:Adult; D000704:Analysis of Variance; D003380:Courtship; D003430:Cross-Sectional Studies; D005260:Female; D005500:Follow-Up Studies; D006801:Humans; D016014:Linear Models; D008297:Male; D009769:Object Attachment; D009864:Ontario; D012649:Self Concept; D012938:Social Perception; D018454:Spouses / Q000523:psychology*