title: "Why did this happen to me?" Experiences of widowhood among the Vhavenda in Limpopo Province.
abstract: Widows/widowers find it difficult to explain to others how the loss of a spouse has fundamentally changed their lives. They are silent about how they experience losing their spouses/partners to the extent of putting on a face that says that all is well, when there is so much pain, agony and suffering that it becomes unbearable, and which ultimately affects their mental health. In this article the researcher explores and describes the lived experience of widowhood. Guidelines are provided to support widows/widowers and help them to deal with their loss effectively, as gathered from the stories and experiences described by surviving spouses. The researcher believes that this study will be a source of strength, support and hope that, given time, all will be well; it will create a feeling of having others in the same situation to look up to, and will assist them to accept a situation that cannot be changed. A qualitative, phenomenological, exploratory, descriptive and contextual design was chosen as the most appropriate for this study (Morse & Field, 1996:8-9; Burns & Grove, 1993:29). It was seen as the best way of gathering subjective reality from the participants in such a fashion that the surviving spouses sensed the researcher's empathy with their situation. Ethical measures and trustworthiness were dealt with. Data was analysed, using Tesch's Open Coding method (Creswell, 1994:155). Three major themes emerged from the data, namely experiences related to the cause of death; widows/widowers' feelings in response to losing a spouse; and the need to use survival strategies as a way of dealing with their loss. Guidelines are provided to support widows/widowers and help them to deal with their loss effectively, as gathered from the stories and experiences described by surviving spouses.
authors.affiliation: Advanced Nursing Science Department, University of Venda. mmasele@univen.ac.za
authors.forename: M
authors.initials: M
authors.lastname: Davhana-Maselesele
mesh_terms: D000223:Adaptation, Psychological; D000328:Adult; D000368:Aged; D001601:Bereavement; D005260:Female; D006801:Humans; D008297:Male; D008875:Middle Aged; D013019:South Africa; D017805:Widowhood / Q000523:psychology*