title: Investigating the role of two types of understanding in relationship well-being: understanding is more important than knowledge.
abstract: Understanding is at the heart of intimate relationships. It is unclear, however, whether understanding-partners' subjective feeling that they understand each other-or knowledge-partners' accurate knowledge of each other-is more important for relationship well-being. The present article pits these two types of understanding against each other and investigates their effects on relationship well-being. In a prospective study among 199 newlywed couples, partners' self-reported and perceived understanding and their knowledge in different domains were assessed. Understanding was independent of knowledge. Self-reported and perceived understanding predicted relationship well-being but neither type of knowledge did. Thus, subjectively feeling that one understands and is understood by one's partner appears to be more important to relationship well-being than actually knowing and being known by one's partner.
authors.affiliation: Department of Social Psychology, Faculteit Sociale Wetenschappen, Tilburg University, P.O. Box 90153, 5000 LE Tilburg, Netherlands. m.m.h.pollmann@uvt.nl
authors.forename: Monique M H
authors.initials: MM
authors.lastname: Pollmann
authors.forename: Catrin
authors.initials: C
authors.lastname: Finkenauer
mesh_terms: D000223:Adaptation, Psychological; D000328:Adult; D003142:Communication; D032882:Comprehension; D004644:Emotions; D004645:Empathy; D005260:Female; D006801:Humans; D007398:Interpersonal Relations; D008137:Longitudinal Studies; D008149:Love; D008297:Male; D008393:Marriage / Q000523:psychology*; D009769:Object Attachment