title: A quiet epidemic: how suicides affect patients & providers.
abstract: It was a clear, crisp winter day as I stood in full dress uniform directly in front of Tom's casket. Hundreds of his fellow paramedics and firefighters from around the state had come to honor this dedicated public servant who had given much of his life to his fire department and the community he grew up in. His death was sudden, untimely and difficult to understand. The expressions of sorrow, devastation and loss on the faces of his wife and children would forever be etched in my mind. Our families had vacationed together since we had attended the academy 20 years before. He seemed to have it all: a dream job, loving family, nice house and the respect and admiration of his fellow workers. He loved being a paramedic for the fire department. As tears froze on my face, I searched for answers. How could I have missed the signs-his pain, suffering and depression? I never acknowledged his subtle cries for help. I wasn't there for my best friend before he took his life.
authors.affiliation: Littleton Colorado Fire Rescue, Littleton, Colorado, USA. wzygowicz@littletongov.org
authors.forename: Wayne
authors.initials: W
authors.lastname: Zygowicz
authors.forename: Mike
authors.initials: M
authors.lastname: Grill
mesh_terms: D000223:Adaptation, Psychological; D000739:Anecdotes as Topic; D004632:Emergency Medical Services / Q000379:methods*; D004634:Emergency Medical Technicians / Q000523:psychology*; D006801:Humans; D055500:Resilience, Psychological; D012449:Safety; D013405:Suicide; D014481:United States