title: Let's talk: a narrative of mental illness, recovery, and the psychotherapist's personal treatment.
abstract: This article describes the author's experience in psychotherapy, beginning as a suicidal teenager with a dismal prognosis, through 5 years of hospitalization, including shock treatment that erased most memory before age 20, through an Ivy League education, and successful professional career. Retraumatization triggered by reading her hospital records 40 years later adds a unique perspective, as the author watched, but could not control, a process within herself that she regularly addressed as therapist with her own patients. Healing aspects of relationships with three psychodynamic psychotherapists (two psychiatrists and a social worker), credited with her survival and success, are examined. A dramatic interview with Harold Searles, her psychiatrist's supervisor, and its role in her recovery is considered. Lasting lessons concerning the healing aspects of psychotherapy, the effects of repressed early trauma encountered late in life, the need to counter stigma, and the value of personal psychotherapy are discussed.
authors.affiliation: Yale University School of Medicine, North Branford, CT 06471, USA. annitas@sbcglobal.net
authors.forename: Annita
authors.initials: A
authors.lastname: Sawyer
mesh_terms: D000739:Anecdotes as Topic; D003951:Diagnostic Errors; D005260:Female; D006282:Health Personnel / Q000523:psychology*; D006801:Humans; D001523:Mental Disorders / Q000175:diagnosis / Q000534:rehabilitation*; D011613:Psychotherapy; D014947:Wounds and Injuries / Q000523:psychology