title: Is committed desire intentional? A qualitative exploration of sexual desire and differentiation of self in couples.
abstract: The question of what heightens or diminishes sexual desire has long been a passionate theme across cultures in literature, arts, media, and medicine. Yet, little research has been conducted to determine what affects level of desire within couples. The degree of differentiation of self has been suggested as an important variable in shaping partners' level of desire. Through a qualitative analysis of dyadic couple interviews, this study provides an account of characteristics, processes, and trajectories of sexual desire and differentiation in 33 heterosexual couples of varying ages and relationship duration. Factors associated with high desire were change and autonomy, whereas conflict and children were reported to be desire-diminishing factors. Innovation, sharing, autonomy, and effort emerged as desire-promoting strategies, while fostering personal interests, investing in a positive connection, and enhancing personal integrity were identified as couples' strategies to promote and preserve differentiation of self. The results also shed light on couples' perceptions of whether and how sexual desire changes over the course of the relationship and challenge common cultural assumptions about desire in committed relationships-namely the myth that the only authentic expression of desire is that which occurs spontaneously and without intention and planning. Implications for couple therapy are discussed.
authors.affiliation: Clinical Systemic Psychology, Faculty of Psychology, University of Lisbon, Lisbon, Portugal.|Faculty of Psychology and Educational Sciences, University of Coimbra, Coimbra, Portugal.
authors.forename: Luana Cunha
authors.identifier: http://orcid.org/0000-0001-8406-3997
authors.initials: LC
authors.lastname: Ferreira
authors.affiliation: Ackerman Institute for the Family, Department of Psychology, Webster University Vienna, Austria.
authors.forename: Peter
authors.initials: P
authors.lastname: Fraenkel
authors.affiliation: Clinical Systemic Psychology, Faculty of Psychology, University of Lisbon, Lisbon, Portugal.
authors.forename: Isabel
authors.initials: I
authors.lastname: Narciso
authors.affiliation: Clinical Systemic Psychology, Faculty of Psychology, University of Lisbon, Lisbon, Portugal.
authors.forename: Rosa
authors.initials: R
authors.lastname: Novo
mesh_terms: D000328:Adult; D000368:Aged; D005191:Family Characteristics; D005260:Female; D006801:Humans; D007989:Libido; D008297:Male; D008875:Middle Aged; D036301:Qualitative Research; D012649:Self Concept; D012725:Sexual Behavior / Q000523:psychology*; D012747:Sexual Partners / Q000523:psychology*
keywords: Couples; Differentiation of Self; Qualitative Methods; Sexual Desire; deseo sexual; diferenciación del yo; métodos cualitativos; parejas; 伴侣; 定性方法; 性欲望; 自我分化