title: Polarized Couples in Therapy: Recognizing Indifference as the Opposite of Love.
abstract: How can a couple "fall in love" and then subsequently "stumble out of love"? For centuries, this question has perplexed partners, researchers, and therapists alike. Unlike falling out of love, which may be a long-term gradual decline in love, falling in love may occur without much deliberation like the famous "love at first sight." During a developing love relationship, couples are more susceptible to ignoring a myriad of factors that will eventually influence their relationship. These ignored personal and general factors become increasingly conspicuous after the relationship is established. When facing relationship difficulties, the presence or absence of mutual love and intimacy steers the couple's relationship toward continuity or termination. Emotional indifference (which is the opposite of love) diminishes love and care; the terms marital disaffection and romantic disengagement are used synonymously to represent emotional indifference in couples. Marital disaffection is one of the central concerns of couples entering therapy. Nevertheless, spouses may enter therapy with divergent goals that may be polar opposites. Therefore, treatment of polarized or different agenda couples is challenging because disaffected spouses may be seeking counseling to break the bond at a safe venue, while their partners may still be obliviously hoping for the rebirth of their lost love. This article reviews marital disaffection/romantic disengagement and discusses counseling options for polarized couples.
authors.affiliation: a Psychology Department , San Jose State University , San Jose , California , USA.
authors.forename: Irum Saeed
authors.initials: IS
authors.lastname: Abbasi
authors.affiliation: b Educational Psychology and Guidance, Program of Educational Graduate Studies, King Abdul Aziz University , Jeddah , Saudi Arabia.
authors.forename: Nawal G
authors.initials: NG
authors.lastname: Alghamdi
mesh_terms: D005260:Female; D006801:Humans; D008149:Love; D008297:Male; D008388:Marital Therapy / Q000379:methods*; D008393:Marriage / Q000523:psychology*; D010549:Personal Satisfaction; D012725:Sexual Behavior / Q000523:psychology; D018454:Spouses / Q000523:psychology*